OK, I was in a FOUL mood from the start this week...I miss Allison, and my extreme dislike for everything about Danny Gokey is really getting out of control. Plus, I'm irritated because in years past the top 3 have all performed three songs, but this year we only get two (just like in previous weeks when everybody sang one instead of two like in years past), because everybody involved with this show is stupid and can't do their job, so although it seems like this season has been going on for like 16 years we will have actually heard much less actual singing from these performers than we ever have in the past. Yeah, Randy, tell me again about how this is a SINGING COMPETITION.
Oh, and even though we are cutting 3 songs from the normal Top 3 Night, I guarantee you they still won't end on time. Imbeciles.
Whatever...on with it.
1) Danny Gokey - "Dance Little Sister": Yeah, this ought to help my mood. Freaking Danny Gokey dancing around like a tool, doing the white man overbite, forgetting the words at least twice (I think...I'm not familiar with the song, but it sounded like he was singing something different from the background singers), doing some stupid and annoying skatting with the saxophone player, and sounding better than he has any right to.
So he sang the song well, whatever...as soon as he starts talking, I'm reminded immediately of everything I don't like about him. Smug. Smarmy. That stupid fake laugh. Ugh.
And Paula, stop reminding people that you used to be a choreographer...we're watching you "dance" at your chair every week, and you appear to have gone through a rhythm-ectomy. It's just sad to be reminded that you used to be the "It" choreographer back in the 80's.
2) Kris Allen - "Apologize": First of all, I did not like this song choice for him at all. His falsetto is the weakest part of his voice, in my opinion, and the chorus of this song is almost all falsetto. He sounds pretty good, anyway, especially when he does the last chorus and comes out of his falsetto a little. More than anything, Kris always sounds current, and this was really no exception. He also seems genuine, which is more than I can say for OTHER contestants. Well, actually ONE other contestant.
I really had high hopes for Kara after the early part of the season, but she is dead to me at this point. I can see her point to Simon, that they expected him to change the song up a little, but then why pick the song and then blast him for just singing it? Why not pick a song that ALREADY sounds like what you want him to do? That's like asking him to cook you a steak, but instead of handing him a NY strip, you bring him a cow. Yeah, he could turn that into a steak, but why make him do all the work? I thought the point of the judges choice was to pick a song that the judges think fits the contestant as an artist. So if you don't WANT him to sound like One Republic, why hand him a One Republic song? Ugh.
3) Adam Lambert - "One": Now this SHOULD be exactly what I need to break me out of this funk. One of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands, sung by a guy who has consistently had amazing performances. But....this was awful. This was like everything that is NOT awesome about Adam, all balled up into a two-minute ball of suckiness. Too overdramatic, and way way WAY too many liberties taken with what is actually a gorgeous melody.
This was like the Kris Allen thing turned inside out...Simon actually handed Adam a NY strip, but then Adam cut it up into meatloaf.
This recap is making me hungry.
4) Danny Gokey - "You Are So Beautiful": As much as I can't stand this guy, I'm not going to the "Dead Wife" place with this one. A lot of the Internet community blasts this guy every time he sings a ballad, saying that he is just using the memory of his dead wife to get votes...I think it's silly and unfair to think he can NEVER sing another love song again.
What I CAN blast him on is his pretentiousness. That whole conversation with Ryan before he sang was just nauseating. "I sat together with my mentors and we laid out all the songs and blah, blah, blah, I'm so awesome, blahzzy, blahzzy." You have mentors, PLURAL? I get the concept, but who TALKS like that? Plus, he always acts like he is giving us some sort of genius insight, a glimpse into the mind of the fantastical Danny, and he won't SHUT UP. I think Ryan may actually punch him before I have a chance to.
The singing was good, although not the "Master Class" that Simon said it was, and I actually thought the arrangement was somehow boring and over the top at the same time.
5) Kris Allen - "Heartless": FINALLY, a performance that I really enjoyed. Totally re-imagined the song, but in a simple and scaled back way...very Kris Allen of him. Although I think Adam may be the greatest overall performer this show has ever seen, it's going to be Kris's album that I am most likely to buy, just because he sings my kind of music. This was by far the best of the night, in my opinion. I would buy this TODAY.
One more thing about Kara, then I'll shut up about her....she actually asked him why he didn't do that with "Apologize." Well, moron, it's because he was already planning on doing this arrangement and didn't want to do the same thing twice in one show, and plus he was under the mistaken impression that you asked him to sing "Apologize" because you thought he would sound good singing it. Idiot.
6) Adam Lambert - "Cryin": And Adam FINALLY does some Aerosmith, which we've been waiting for all season. Some EARLY Aerosmith, right, KARA? (sorry...NOW I'm shutting up about her). And while this is good, it really wasn't as good as I was expecting and hoping for. In fact, I thought it actually paled in comparison to Steven Tyler's original vocal, and I NEVER thought I would say that about an Adam Lambert performance. He ALWAYS takes liberties with the melodies, and normally I love it, but I guess tonight I just wasn't a big fan of the choices he made vocally.
- They still went over by several minutes, even cutting three songs and scheduling the show to run until four past the hour. Unbelievable.
- There is no WAY they bring back four judges next year. This has been a disaster. I know most of my anger tonight was at Kara, but in all honesty I don't care which one of them goes as long as it's not Simon. It was pretty funny tonight that they had Randy and Kara pick Kris's song together, since there's really no difference between them anymore, other than the fact that Kara will still stand up to Simon (which is the only reason I would want her to stick around).
- The backup singers were WAY too loud tonight, especially on Adam's "Cryin'." Apparently the sound guys are just as incompetent as the Director.
- Has Simon ever openly begged us to vote for somebody before? I can't remember ever seeing that.
How I ranked the performances:
Danny, "You Are So Beautiful"
Danny, "Dance Little Sister"
Who SHOULD go home: Danny (again, this is based on the whole season, not just this one night)
Who WILL go home: Danny
I know, I'm probably wrong, considering that Adam vs. Danny has been a foregone conclusion for a while now. I just think America might pleasantly surprise me this week. I checked DialIdol this morning, and the three are unbelievably close, with Danny on the bottom. Since DialIdol doesn't factor in text votes, I think that doesn't bode well for Danny since I think his demographic is less likely to power-text. We'll see.